OptimismSoup.com

Funny I know, that an optimist should be encouraging the thought of writing an epitaph and pondering death. But I am a realist/optimist. And as laughable as it is that an “optimist” is encouraging people to write their own epitaphs, there is good reason behind this…

I was in a car accident about a week ago.  Fortunately my life was spared and I walked away with only a seat belt burn on my left shoulder.  Amazing? Yes. A miracle? Absolutely.  I would like to thank all my friends that prayed for me and my safety that day. I am most grateful to each of you and I am grateful to be alive.

What seemed to be the worst for those that were concerned for me was the unknown.  Many people simply heard I was in an accident.  No other details were given.  The lack of information was the greatest anxiety that my parents had.  My wife and I are two polar opposites when it comes to being social.  I throw it all out there and let the world judge me how they will.  My wife keeps to herself and hopes that the world doesn’t judge her at all.  But what of the silence….. Realizing my wife and I have totally different views on being public, I came to the further realization that my wife had a totally different view on my accident as well. I was happy to walk away with a minor scratch. She was frightened because she thought and focused on the fact that I almost died. The possibility of me dying became a reality to her. And for that reason I gladly gave her and my wonderful kids all of my attention for the past week. So please excuse my absence and the absence of answers.

Through the past week, I reflected upon the “What if I had died?”  I was saddened by the fact that I would have missed being part of my children’s lives.  And I began to wonder if what I left behind would be sufficient for my children to know me, to understand my desires for them, to feel my love for them.  I wondered if my wife would always know that I loved her.  These pondering lead me to the conclusion that I could do better. That despite my core values in life, my life is not always reflective of what I feel and believe inside. Hence the need for me to write my own epitaph.  A practice endorsed by “7 Habits”.

Writing my epitaph gave me the perspective of how I want to be remembered.  Things like wither I eat well, or if I am an all star basketball player take a back seat to, “He was a good father.”  Things like, he was cunning, quick, and got ahead in the business world, pale in comparison to, “He was fair and honest in his business dealings.” And I most certainly don’t want to be remembered as “the man that loved his wife, and almost told her once.”

So please take a little advice from someone that has stood at the edge of life’s door, take time to think of how you want to be remembered.  Embrace life and who you are, and who you want to be. Then realize that you are writing your own epitaph with each breath you take and step you lead.

You are writing your own epitaph with each breath you take and step you lead.

While death is not something I fear, and I look forward to the next life and the what lies beyond, I don’t recognize that I live today, and life is a gift, that is why we call it the present.

Thomas B. beginnings death, epitaph, grateful to be alive, life, optimism

Is optimism a choice?

While many argue that optimism is a choice, and even doctors may suggest through research that optimism is a choice, I stand to differ.  One cannot simply wake up one day and say I am an optimist.  Individuals can’t just make one singular choice and become an optimist.  No I believe real optimism isn’t achieved on a singular choice.

As Mark Twain once penned the phrase by words of his beloved character,

“You cannot pray a lie.” - Huckleberry Finn

Reality hits a would be optimist when they find that their hopes and dreams of a brighter future are being destroyed by their actions at present.  One cannot ignore reality. If someone chooses to act in a way that damages themselves and their future and then projects a false belief that all is okay, they are ultimately living a lie.  Perhaps they seem blissful in their optimistic ignorance, yet that bliss is shallow and that river will run dry.

Optimism is not A choice.  Optimism is many choices. Optimism is a choice made daily and some days hourly. Optimism is based on how we live our lives as a whole.  Yes, it is within our power to choose optimism and to choose a better life.  But that choice is simply a forerunner.  If that choice is not followed by steps,  if the choice is not followed by actions, then we are praying and hoping a lie.

I believe that I choose to be an optimist everyday.  My freedom to act, to build, to create, to direct myself, my mind, my body is the source of my optimism.  Yes, I do choose optimism.  I live so that I am happy.  I live so that I am healthy.  My final hope and optimism lies in my belief that despite my inperfections now, someday I will be perfect.  If Job and Jeremiah can be deemed perfect men then I too can become a perfect man.

Choose to be optimistic.  Let your actions  support your optimism.  Let your failures support you optimism by rising each time you fall and continuing to rise to higher planes.

I hope not to discourage those that want to make the choice of optimism.  It is a good choice.  I hope to encourage those that will choose and haven chosen optimism to continue to choose optimism.  And to make that choice a reality so you become optimistic.

“I choose optimism.  I act.  I am an optimist.”

Thomas B. Questions creativity, freedom, functional optimism, liberty, optimism, optimistic choice

Funny, I still remember when I was a teenager and my mom quoting the following to me:

We see the world as we are, not as it is.

Funny thing is at the time I thought, “How can you say that, mom? … Of course I am not that blind that I don’t see the world as it really is.  I am a mature 17 year old.  I can handle the truth!  In fact, I see the world perfectly clear just as it is!”

When I got to my legal class in college it was put to me this way:

In Law there is your story, their story, and the truth.  The truth usually lies somewhere between the stories.

Okay, sure people are only going to be able to tell you what they thought or how they saw it.  Does that really mean that there is no truth to what they say?  Does that really make everyone out to be a liar?

But the best yet was when I heard this phrase:

Cada cabeza su mundo.

Or as I translated it…  “Every head is its own world.”

Today, to me, its not just about seeing truth, its about seeing the whole picture.  And even more, its seeing the whole of it and choosing what to focus on.  Its easy when you sit in a movie theater to just fall into a trance and watch the big screen.  In fact, that’s what everybody is doing in that theater… unless you are the cinema janitor and then that theater and movie take on a whole new meaning…. “Work” …. Better yet, next time you are in a theater try opting to watch the crowd instead. =)

Every head is its own world…

We create our own world and our own experiences.  I can have a good day and  my neighbor a bad day, on the exact same day. Optimism is about choosing to see the beautiful things in life.

Every head is its own world…

I don’t ignore that there are problems in my world.  I don’t promote ignorance.  I promote acceptance of the whole picture, and then the choice to focus on that which inspires and uplifts.  Perhaps my head is its own beautiful world.

Thomas B. Quotes beauty, choice, Every head is its own world, focus, optimism

Health Care Plan Losing in Polls on Facebook!

While the media appears to be saying the opposite, the TRUTH seems to still be winning!

Here is what the Media wants you to believe:

US NEWS… Poll Shows Strong Support for Obama Health Care Reforms -“In fact, half of the 2,491 adults surveyed in the nationwide poll said they either “strongly” or “somewhat” supported the president’s plan”…

Yet 400,000 plus say NO.

It’s all in the question… Do I “somewhat” support Obama’s Health Care reform?… Yes. It is clear that our Health care system needs some adjusting. But do I support a Universal Government Run Health Care Program?… No.

Do I believe that its good to provide health care for the elderly?… Yes.

Do I believe that money for health care should be forced out of the pockets of businesses?… No.

But still, what is even more enlightening about the above poll and the conflict it shows with US News is that “We the People” don’t have to buy into what the media is telling us.  Don’t just believe what you see on TV.  Don’t just openly believe what someone tells you…

Funny that seems to be more of pessimistic view.  =)

But in reality it spurs my optimism to hear the masses in the US speak up and shout out about wanting “Freedom”.  What spurs my optimism is to be reminded that “We have a choice.”  We can choose for ourselves what is right or wrong.  I loose hope and optimism when people stop choosing.  When people give up.

Optimism is a choice.  I don’t have a good day… I make it a good day.

Now that makes for a good Friday!

Thomas B. Quotes, Uncategorized choice, language, optimism, pessimistic

“No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new heaven to the human spirit.”- Helen Keller

What a wonderful person Helen Keller was.  What a challenging life she lead.  Yet always the optimist.  Great Quote.

Thomas B. Quotes Helen Keller, optimism, Quote

How much effect do the words you use have on your optimism?

This is a question that I struggle with.  I tend to discredit that your words drastically effect your outlook on life.  For example, I will often say “I’m swamped.” In general, this term is a negative, victim mentality, life stinks, kind of phrase. But, I have said it ever since I was a waiter, where I first heard the phrase.  And where being swamped meant I was busy, which meant more money. I jokingly add with a smile, “I’m swamped… which means job security.” So does that phrase really effect my outlook on life?  Can we say something negative jokingly, sarcastically, or unbiased and it not effect me? Or is just how we internalize a phrase?

Just the other day, Jeremiah Cundiff, a life coach and business coach, pointed out that agreeing with individuals who use negative speech, adds negativity to one’s own life by embracing the other individual’s negativity.  So along this thought process it would seem that just allowing or agreeing with anther’s negative attitude is a downer on one’s own optimism.

I am still a little skeptical though as to how much these play on words really effects one’s total outlook.

My father claims that I shouldn’t focus on “Not having debt”.  According to him, if I focus on not having debt, then I am actually inviting debt in.  However, I disagree with this extent of negative speech.  I set a goal to “Never go into debt for a car.”  So I have always paid cash for my automobiles and “Never gone into debt for a car.”  To me its a neutral point if I set the goal as “Never go into debt.” or, “Always pay cash.”

Still, I would say that a hypnotist would argue that the exact phrase does indeed matter.  If they can hypnotize someone with their words alone then words do carry a significant weight.  Even more so, if they can create “trigger words” then according to a hypnotist the exact word counts. But that’s hypnotism and brain washing right?

Honestly how much of difference does it really make if you say “The glass is half full.” vs “The Glass is half empty.” Is that really a concrete test of your optimism?

So I remain semi-split on the optimism and language.

Thomas B. Questions difference, language, optimism, test, words