If we focus too much on what we have lost or what we could loose than we will miss the win-win that still remains.

Optimists are often ridiculed for not being realistic. They are accused of putting on rose colored glasses and then thinking everything is just rosy. I believe that individuals who focus on what has gone wrong and what can go wrong are in truth do not see things for what they really are.

As Henry Ford once said “those that say it can’t be done need to get out of the way of those that are doing it.”

An optimist sees things as they really can be. An optimist can create what seems impossible by simply being open to what is possible. An optimist takes every step he can toward the desired out come even when he does not know exactly how to get there knowing that the closer he gets the more clear the path will be.

I am grateful for those individuals that were able to move past common knowledge to create the impossible. Flight, the man on the moon, a cell phone, and still there is more to come.

Get your healthy dose of optimism today.

***Please share your thoughts and ideas.  I believe that sharing is a fundamental part of loving. Therefore, if you love optimism than share.

Funny I know, that an optimist should be encouraging the thought of writing an epitaph and pondering death. But I am a realist/optimist. And as laughable as it is that an “optimist” is encouraging people to write their own epitaphs, there is good reason behind this…

I was in a car accident about a week ago.  Fortunately my life was spared and I walked away with only a seat belt burn on my left shoulder.  Amazing? Yes. A miracle? Absolutely.  I would like to thank all my friends that prayed for me and my safety that day. I am most grateful to each of you and I am grateful to be alive.

What seemed to be the worst for those that were concerned for me was the unknown.  Many people simply heard I was in an accident.  No other details were given.  The lack of information was the greatest anxiety that my parents had.  My wife and I are two polar opposites when it comes to being social.  I throw it all out there and let the world judge me how they will.  My wife keeps to herself and hopes that the world doesn’t judge her at all.  But what of the silence….. Realizing my wife and I have totally different views on being public, I came to the further realization that my wife had a totally different view on my accident as well. I was happy to walk away with a minor scratch. She was frightened because she thought and focused on the fact that I almost died. The possibility of me dying became a reality to her. And for that reason I gladly gave her and my wonderful kids all of my attention for the past week. So please excuse my absence and the absence of answers.

Through the past week, I reflected upon the “What if I had died?”  I was saddened by the fact that I would have missed being part of my children’s lives.  And I began to wonder if what I left behind would be sufficient for my children to know me, to understand my desires for them, to feel my love for them.  I wondered if my wife would always know that I loved her.  These pondering lead me to the conclusion that I could do better. That despite my core values in life, my life is not always reflective of what I feel and believe inside. Hence the need for me to write my own epitaph.  A practice endorsed by “7 Habits”.

Writing my epitaph gave me the perspective of how I want to be remembered.  Things like wither I eat well, or if I am an all star basketball player take a back seat to, “He was a good father.”  Things like, he was cunning, quick, and got ahead in the business world, pale in comparison to, “He was fair and honest in his business dealings.” And I most certainly don’t want to be remembered as “the man that loved his wife, and almost told her once.”

So please take a little advice from someone that has stood at the edge of life’s door, take time to think of how you want to be remembered.  Embrace life and who you are, and who you want to be. Then realize that you are writing your own epitaph with each breath you take and step you lead.

You are writing your own epitaph with each breath you take and step you lead.

While death is not something I fear, and I look forward to the next life and the what lies beyond, I don’t recognize that I live today, and life is a gift, that is why we call it the present.

Just got wind of this commercial that is being aired on TV right now. A friend had said that it was being aired as a public service announcement.

Watch this Great Public Service Optimism Video!

Great Commercial But Who is The Foundation for Life?

I tried to visit their website and nothing came up.  Apparently there is a good reason for me failing the optimism test.  I am a bit leery of websites that don’t work and sites with redirects.  Life has taught me that there is “rarely” a free lunch.  Which I am okay with.  I can choose to see it as a free lunch or a pitch from an company soliciting my business.  I just want to know what portion is FREE and what portion I am paying for.

Since this is my first introduction to this group I decided to do a little research…

The video above finished with “www.ForBetterLife.org” Here is the registration information for that website:
Whois History: 89 records have been archived since 2003-03-18
Domain ID:D23448580-LROR
Domain Name:FORBETTERLIFE.ORG
Created On:27-Mar-2000 16:59:16 UTC
Last Updated On:07-Mar-2009 02:04:32 UTC
Expiration Date:27-Mar-2015 16:59:16 UTC
Sponsoring Registrar:Network Solutions LLC (R63-LROR)
Status:CLIENT TRANSFER PROHIBITED
Registrant ID:39457148-NSIV
Registrant Name:Foundation For Better Life
Registrant Organization:Foundation For Better Life
Registrant Street1:ATTN insert domain name here
Registrant Street2:care of Network Solutions
Registrant Street3:
Registrant City:Herndon
Registrant State/Province:VA
Registrant Postal Code:20172
Registrant Country:US
Registrant Phone:+1.5707088780
Registrant Phone Ext.:
Registrant FAX:
Registrant FAX Ext.:
Registrant Email: Je9jm7ry3ut@networksolutionsprivateregistraion.com

Admin ID:18791335-NSIV
Admin Name:Gary Dixon
Admin Organization:Random Acts of Kindness
Admin Street1:ATTN insert domain name here
Admin Street2:care of Network Solutions
Admin Street3:
Admin City:Herndon
Admin State/Province:VA
Admin Postal Code:20172
Admin Country:US
Admin Phone:+1.5707088780

And from http://www.aboutus.org/ForBetterLife.org

So the Foundation for a Better Life uses a private registration and has two separate addresses? Can anyone give me any more information about this company since I can’t get to their website? Maybe they are just overloaded with hits from the fantastic video…?  =)

So on the bright side… I love the video and I think passing on optimism is a great public service.  So I applaud the effort and hope that Foundation For Life is really championing the cause of optimism.

T4 gave us a note and this is what it said…

Yes, if you read that correctly, it says… Not Happy.

Children can bring such joy… and prove to be great challenges.  My little mini-me, Thomas IV, has become quite fond of writing notes/letters lately.  He wants to write a letter to his friend Cooper.  He wants to write a letter to Grandma.  Its quite adorable.  Of course, his skill set for writing letters isn’t quite up to par with other kids his age.  But he still loves the idea and we still encourage him to express his feeling and thoughts in anyway possible.

Well as of late, when things are a little rough for him and he ends up in timeout, he will write letters expressing his frustration with us, his parents.  He rolls them up / folds them and drops them from the top of the stairs.  It kind of reminds me of a the stranded on a dessert island note in bottle tossed out to sea with hopes that someone will get the note and come to my aid.  Above was one of his notes from yesterday that we found today: Not Happy… But we are happy that he is trying to communicate to us his feelings.

What a great lesson in life, if you are not happy about something then DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Write it down.  Express it.  Move on. And find a way to be happy.

Make it a great day and a great weekend!

Is optimism a choice?

While many argue that optimism is a choice, and even doctors may suggest through research that optimism is a choice, I stand to differ.  One cannot simply wake up one day and say I am an optimist.  Individuals can’t just make one singular choice and become an optimist.  No I believe real optimism isn’t achieved on a singular choice.

As Mark Twain once penned the phrase by words of his beloved character,

“You cannot pray a lie.” - Huckleberry Finn

Reality hits a would be optimist when they find that their hopes and dreams of a brighter future are being destroyed by their actions at present.  One cannot ignore reality. If someone chooses to act in a way that damages themselves and their future and then projects a false belief that all is okay, they are ultimately living a lie.  Perhaps they seem blissful in their optimistic ignorance, yet that bliss is shallow and that river will run dry.

Optimism is not A choice.  Optimism is many choices. Optimism is a choice made daily and some days hourly. Optimism is based on how we live our lives as a whole.  Yes, it is within our power to choose optimism and to choose a better life.  But that choice is simply a forerunner.  If that choice is not followed by steps,  if the choice is not followed by actions, then we are praying and hoping a lie.

I believe that I choose to be an optimist everyday.  My freedom to act, to build, to create, to direct myself, my mind, my body is the source of my optimism.  Yes, I do choose optimism.  I live so that I am happy.  I live so that I am healthy.  My final hope and optimism lies in my belief that despite my inperfections now, someday I will be perfect.  If Job and Jeremiah can be deemed perfect men then I too can become a perfect man.

Choose to be optimistic.  Let your actions  support your optimism.  Let your failures support you optimism by rising each time you fall and continuing to rise to higher planes.

I hope not to discourage those that want to make the choice of optimism.  It is a good choice.  I hope to encourage those that will choose and haven chosen optimism to continue to choose optimism.  And to make that choice a reality so you become optimistic.

“I choose optimism.  I act.  I am an optimist.”

Funny, I still remember when I was a teenager and my mom quoting the following to me:

We see the world as we are, not as it is.

Funny thing is at the time I thought, “How can you say that, mom? … Of course I am not that blind that I don’t see the world as it really is.  I am a mature 17 year old.  I can handle the truth!  In fact, I see the world perfectly clear just as it is!”

When I got to my legal class in college it was put to me this way:

In Law there is your story, their story, and the truth.  The truth usually lies somewhere between the stories.

Okay, sure people are only going to be able to tell you what they thought or how they saw it.  Does that really mean that there is no truth to what they say?  Does that really make everyone out to be a liar?

But the best yet was when I heard this phrase:

Cada cabeza su mundo.

Or as I translated it…  “Every head is its own world.”

Today, to me, its not just about seeing truth, its about seeing the whole picture.  And even more, its seeing the whole of it and choosing what to focus on.  Its easy when you sit in a movie theater to just fall into a trance and watch the big screen.  In fact, that’s what everybody is doing in that theater… unless you are the cinema janitor and then that theater and movie take on a whole new meaning…. “Work” …. Better yet, next time you are in a theater try opting to watch the crowd instead. =)

Every head is its own world…

We create our own world and our own experiences.  I can have a good day and  my neighbor a bad day, on the exact same day. Optimism is about choosing to see the beautiful things in life.

Every head is its own world…

I don’t ignore that there are problems in my world.  I don’t promote ignorance.  I promote acceptance of the whole picture, and then the choice to focus on that which inspires and uplifts.  Perhaps my head is its own beautiful world.

Health Care Plan Losing in Polls on Facebook!

While the media appears to be saying the opposite, the TRUTH seems to still be winning!

Here is what the Media wants you to believe:

US NEWS… Poll Shows Strong Support for Obama Health Care Reforms -“In fact, half of the 2,491 adults surveyed in the nationwide poll said they either “strongly” or “somewhat” supported the president’s plan”…

Yet 400,000 plus say NO.

It’s all in the question… Do I “somewhat” support Obama’s Health Care reform?… Yes. It is clear that our Health care system needs some adjusting. But do I support a Universal Government Run Health Care Program?… No.

Do I believe that its good to provide health care for the elderly?… Yes.

Do I believe that money for health care should be forced out of the pockets of businesses?… No.

But still, what is even more enlightening about the above poll and the conflict it shows with US News is that “We the People” don’t have to buy into what the media is telling us.  Don’t just believe what you see on TV.  Don’t just openly believe what someone tells you…

Funny that seems to be more of pessimistic view.  =)

But in reality it spurs my optimism to hear the masses in the US speak up and shout out about wanting “Freedom”.  What spurs my optimism is to be reminded that “We have a choice.”  We can choose for ourselves what is right or wrong.  I loose hope and optimism when people stop choosing.  When people give up.

Optimism is a choice.  I don’t have a good day… I make it a good day.

Now that makes for a good Friday!

Is there a difference between being optimistic and being confident? I have read from authors on optimism that the two are different.  That they should be identified as unique.

How do these statements differ:

I am confident that my business will do extremely well over the next year.

I am optimistic that my business will do extremely well over the next year.

Optimism seems to be based on hope. It seems to be more of a state of mind, an attitude, or a perspective based on assumptions.  Confidence seems to be based on one’s ability or perceived ability.  It seems that a confident individual relies on their own making to reach their desired end. But could the words and the state of mind be interchangeable?

I believe that my optimism is connected to my confidence.  I struggle to seperate the two.  In fact, I am less optimistic in areas where I have little to no control of the out come.

When I state that the good guy always wins, I am that good guy.  When I am not that good guy, but look to another to be that good guy, I must place my personal experience on the line.  I trust in him as I would trust in myself, if he is that good guy. If that individual has a history of being a good guy then I am optimistic.  Still rooted in my own experience and confidence. I believe that anyone can learn to sing, to dance, to paint, to write, if that individual puts in the required time and energy.  Not simply because of hope but because that is human nature.

Now consider this statement:

I am confidient and optimistic that my business will do extremely well over the next year.

Doesn’t seem to work does it?  They are either too similar or too conflicting.

“No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new heaven to the human spirit.”- Helen Keller

What a wonderful person Helen Keller was.  What a challenging life she lead.  Yet always the optimist.  Great Quote.

How much effect do the words you use have on your optimism?

This is a question that I struggle with.  I tend to discredit that your words drastically effect your outlook on life.  For example, I will often say “I’m swamped.” In general, this term is a negative, victim mentality, life stinks, kind of phrase. But, I have said it ever since I was a waiter, where I first heard the phrase.  And where being swamped meant I was busy, which meant more money. I jokingly add with a smile, “I’m swamped… which means job security.” So does that phrase really effect my outlook on life?  Can we say something negative jokingly, sarcastically, or unbiased and it not effect me? Or is just how we internalize a phrase?

Just the other day, Jeremiah Cundiff, a life coach and business coach, pointed out that agreeing with individuals who use negative speech, adds negativity to one’s own life by embracing the other individual’s negativity.  So along this thought process it would seem that just allowing or agreeing with anther’s negative attitude is a downer on one’s own optimism.

I am still a little skeptical though as to how much these play on words really effects one’s total outlook.

My father claims that I shouldn’t focus on “Not having debt”.  According to him, if I focus on not having debt, then I am actually inviting debt in.  However, I disagree with this extent of negative speech.  I set a goal to “Never go into debt for a car.”  So I have always paid cash for my automobiles and “Never gone into debt for a car.”  To me its a neutral point if I set the goal as “Never go into debt.” or, “Always pay cash.”

Still, I would say that a hypnotist would argue that the exact phrase does indeed matter.  If they can hypnotize someone with their words alone then words do carry a significant weight.  Even more so, if they can create “trigger words” then according to a hypnotist the exact word counts. But that’s hypnotism and brain washing right?

Honestly how much of difference does it really make if you say “The glass is half full.” vs “The Glass is half empty.” Is that really a concrete test of your optimism?

So I remain semi-split on the optimism and language.